Nate Says: Why So Serious?

Movie Review: Limitless

Unlock Your Potential!

nzt-48 the Limitless Pill

Not a contact lens.

With the all-new, memory-enhancement pill NZT™, you will gain full access to all brain records of all time in forever!

What would it be like to know everything about anything you ever sort of saw? The awesomeness is LIMITLESS!

With NZT™, your boring Facebook profile will be a thing of
the past. You can learn piano, 5 languages and stock market
algorithm patterns in a matter of days! (Individual results may vary.)

You should check with your doctor before using NZT™, or
you can take NZT™ for four days and consult yourself.

Bradley Matthews Approved

I'm not a doctor, but I could be in 4 days. Thanks NZT™!

Side-effects may include dizziness, headache, nausea,
vomiting, ADHD, memory-loss and hallucinations. If
you find yourself staring at yourself next to you or if you
seem to be making up a majority of the people in a party
of more than 12, you may want to consider weaning off
the dosage.

It is not recommended to discontinue use of NZT™ abruptly.
If you find yourself in the fetal position, walking with a cane
or in a coma, you should take more NZT™ until the
symptoms subside.

Want 180° full-on-all-the-way peripheral vision? Would you like more color and contrast in your vision? Want to finally solve your first Sudoku puzzle?

Go Limitless Today* with NZT™.

*Quantities are limited to black market availability.

  • I was adhering to a strict NZT regimen for about 6 weeks, after which I discovered an algorithm for time travel by combining my 9th grade algebra skills with a series of “can you spot the difference” pictures from a 1994 Highlights magazine, and a maze from the back of a box of Cap’n Crunch. Subsequently, I traveled back in time and wrote the “Back To The Future” trilogy as well as “Gigli”. They can’t all be winners. After my return to present day, I found myself without a steady supply of NZT and have since felt many of the aforementioned side effects. It was only when I areigq[nmriqmor[oqigoa[rqoim[oierq[gqnoirngq[q[jriogq[roigoiuerng[qoeirngq[oirjgqor[uqg3409jgq340mgq4[094fmq[0m[049q

    I’m not sure what’s going on here, why I’m typing this or what this “NZT” actually is. Sorry for the gibberish, but I suddenly felt nauseous and that’s from the mess made on my keyboard. My head hurts now, so I’m going to go lie down. What’s sudoku? Squirrel!!!!!!!!!!!

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